I run to you

I've had this song on my mind awhile. It's a great song.

Well I have cheered up markedly in the last week which is great. Last weekend was Labor Day and I spent it all with D. We drove up a local mountain to get some heat relief and found a lovely little camp site to hang out at for awhile. We'd brought some fruit and wine and cheese and crackers and smore's makin's. It had been a LOOOONG time since either of us had smores. YUM!! Can't recommend it enough. I had mentioned earlier in the day that there were vegetarian marshmallows and he relayed later that he went to 4 (yes FOUR) different grocery stores looking for them. Apparently the guy at the last one asked how many stores, to which D replied 4 and the guy said, "wow, you must really like her." (insert goofy grin here)
: )

We hung there for awhile, enjoyed some wine, which lead to some nekkid time, which was fun and risky with people clearly in eye sight of where we were. That of course added to the excitement. Watched some stars when we were done. Had a long conversation about our open relationship. We're both still comfortable with it, which is great. Headed down the hill a few hours later to go home. Enjoyed some more of each other which completely exhausted us and we crashed. Woke up, enjoyed an entire day of hanging at the house watching movies. Crazy Heart (eh), Gamer (bad, he actually fell asleep), some porn (lead to some nice action) and finally Backup Plan (better than expected actually). Made corn bread pot pie in the crock pot so it was ready for dinner, YUM. More smores, then more enjoying, then bed.

Woke up Monday, back to my house for supplies, hung out at his neighbor's pool awhile, eventually went to meet his parents where we had dessert. I had met them briefly once before at a jewelry party so it wasn't awkward. And in fact it was nice. They are very proper people, he's ex military and she's a true southern lady. It's all very different than how I grew up. But a nice change. Then we did the local run in the evening and headed back to his place again. It was all very "mundane" and "normal." And nice. Comfortable. Effortless. Somewhere in there I became his babygirl. He mentioned it in a txt at one point later and I said I really liked it. He said, "that's what I think when you're tucked into my arms and I am kissing you good night."

Insert next goofy grin here : )

I was IMing with C from my online dating site last week and he let me know that he's finally ready to meet me. I was super excited but bummed that I had made myself unavailable all weekend with plans with D. But, it's the next week, and guess what, C still hasn't set plans to meet me. Ah well. Certainly not going to push that one.

And Friday it was like old flames day or something, I had 2 people who had been in touch with me previously that I hadn't heard from since my KC trip get in touch with me. One asked if I needed someone to take pics for my blog, no strings attached. I politely declined (he turned out to be kind of a jerk and I wasn't interested in getting back into that drama) and he then proceeded to tell me he was engaged. Sheesh, good thing I'd said no. CERTAINLY don't need that drama. And the other guy was ALL about meeting me ASAP!! Made tentative plans for lunch today. Txt'd him this morning. No response. Again, ah well.

Roomie is going out of town this weekend and D and I are headed to the football game. Should be lots of fun, and he'll come here after, which will be a nice change from packing up 2-4 bags to head to his house every weekend. He'll be meeting my mom and her partner Sunday. He said he was flattered I asked. I think they will like him.

AND, CP will be joining me here on Monday for the day, since I have a forced vacation day. He's the one night stand guy I've mentioned previously. We'll see how that day goes. He is like a big kid. 39 going on 22. I am apparently the oldest person he's dated. He's the youngest person I've dated and it's obvious. He calls me things like dork and goof. Things D thinks are disrespectful and would never dream of saying to me. A good juxtaposition. Not sure how I'll lay that one out to D.

But (I know, don't call you a but), here's my HNT from the mountain. D took it while I was admiring the beautiful fire. Be sure to check out Os to see who else is playing.

Daffodils

Song of the day: Baby I'm in. Love, love, LOVING this song by Keith Urban right now. If you need a lover and a friend...

I was so honored to be chosen as the Mystery Guest today! I think of this blog really as a diary. As events happen I think about how I am going to word them, or how a photo would accent a post. But if I miss posting it or sharing that thought, it's ok, it's just for me. Well, apparently others are watching and that just tickles me pink! : ) I was really pleased that Os picked the poem that he did. Daffodils are very special to me because of J. The constant back and forth was which flower was my favorite? Daisies. No, he'd correct me, they're daffodils. No, daises, daffodils, etc... So it  made me smile in my heart when Os picked that.

I have a wedding to go to this Saturday. And I think I may actually have a dinner date on Sunday. I am at the point where I rate all potential dates on how badly I want to see them vs the time they take away from D. We pretty much spend all our spare time together, which I love. It's like having a home base but with the freedom to explore other people. An open, semi-but-not-committed relationship, who knew?! : )

Tuesday night D didn't say the words "do you want to stay over" or some variation on that, so I didn't assume I would. It's a long haul from my house to ANYWHERE (15 minutes just to the freeway, then another 10 minimum to anywhere) so if I am going to stay over at his place I have to plan in advance since he's 30 mins away in good traffic. I planned for staying over Sunday and Monday. Then Tuesday rolled around and I had a little Girls Night Out jewelry party for a friend and hadn't planned to stay with him. Didn't have enough meds,  clothes, had to send off pics to Os for HNT MG, and my laptop stays at home, etc. So the end of the night rolled around and I went back to his place to pick up my stuff he was surprised to find I wasn't staying. I said, well, you never "officially" invited me and I didn't want to assume, since we're not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, that I could just stay over. He was so disappointed. And then so was I. Awww. I really wanted to stay. But I really wanted to go home and send off my photos too! So, to say we spend most of our free time together isn't really stretching it much.

Last night I was gathering up the boys to head them upstairs for shower and their 3 simple steps (think Special Agent Oso - fun version) and Roomie's dog Maggie started doing crazy dog laps in the house. You know, when they are running around in circles through all the rooms in the house while you just try to stay out of their way? Well, I was moving to the side, she dodged where she THOUGHT I was going, and, BAM!! I end up on my ass on the tile floor. I was pretty lucky I didn't hit my head on the wall that was a foot away. So, now my bum, wrist and ankle are all a little sore. I am hoping they don't hurt tomorrow. I plan to do some dancing at the wedding this weekend!

So I am not entirely pleased with the way the I Kissed a Girl post turned out. I think I will supplement it at some point. It didn't really have the effect that I wanted. Keep an eye out for that.

Today, I have plans to have D to work at lunch time for a little afternoon delight in a private bathroom I know about. That should be fun. I invited him yesterday for lunch but he wasn't able to make it. So, I tempted him with this bit of texting yesterday when he let me know he was done for the day with work:

Me: Yay! Time for you to come over here so I can attack you.

D: Very tempting babe! We could find a hideaway spot for some public sex ; )

Me: Just thinking of all the private bathrooms I know about... And what I am going to do to you in them.

D: Yum! OK... give me a little "for example..." please?

Me: I would take you over to the next building and find one of the private bathrooms. The door would lock and I would push you against the door and drop to my knees. Your belt would come off first. Then your pants, unzipped. Next your cock comes out and I wrap my mouth around it. You've been thinking about this so you're a little hard already. (ELO Evil Woman is playing right now).

D: Awesome visual... I'm so there! Can you actually make that happen?

Me: Yup ; )

D: Tomorrow at lunch?

Me: Yep if you want to come here.

D: Hell yeah I want to cum there! ; ) When is good for u? Meet 1st at your office?

Me: Lol, eager all of a sudden. 1130ish, noon, 1, whatever.

D: Kind of a big deal don't u think?

Me: Why do you think I invited you over today lover?

D: Thx! But just making sure ur not gonna get in trouble... or is that part of the fun? ; )

Me: Not going to get in trouble. That's what lunch breaks are for right?

D: Absolutely. U want me to bring my camera?

Me: Bring whatever you'd like. 11:30 works and I am flexible.

D: Ok 11:30 it is. My treat for lunch after. Bring ur vibrator too.
Me: Oooooo! That WOULD be interesting! And great for pics...
D: You like the way I'm thinkin I see!!

Me: Always baby. That's why I keep you around. You're fun in all the right ways. : )

D: ; )

Me: I am SO looking forward to having your cock in my mouth tomorrow. Wish it was now.

D: Oohhh baby! Me too. And ur pussy in my mouth ; )

Me: (Big inhale) YUM!

D: Breathe deeply & softly my love! ; )

So I'll recap in the next post because by the time I post this, it will have already happened : ) Hopefully I'll have some great before shots for the Brazilian I have scheduled tomorrow. I'll post those with the recap. Until then, here's my HNT for the day! At some point I will figure out how to do those click throughs but, not today! Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Just to try it...

As previously mentioned, I had a blast in Kansas City and that included making out with a girl for the first time. It was fun, and interesting, and new, and different, and sort of what I expected and I would probably do it again. The lyrics to this song are entirely appropriate, "not what I planned, not my intention, got so brave drink in hand, just wanna try it on, I'm curious, you caught my attention." While I was in KC I was sex/txting with a few guys back at home, D, being one of them and another, new I haven't mentioned, named C. The following is the txing that happened through out the night when I met this girl and one thing led to another. "L" mentioned is my friend that I went on vacation with. It may be a bit choppy, but I was sort of channeling Frances and Daniel and felt like it was an entertaining way to tell the story. D was sending me shots of the porn he was watching and the girl, "R" was looking at the shots with me while we were bored at the awards ceremony.

D: Does L watch porn?

Me: I dunno but R from CO. does and we are enjoying the hell out of it! L isn’t sitting w me.

D: Say Hi to R for me! Is she drunk too?

Me: Hell yeah! We are being the ridiculous drunks together tho so its fun.

D: Is she at ur same hotel?

Me: No damnit!

D: Close by… a cab ride away?

Me: OMG she just told me I could be her first gog action but we both have girls in our rooms and I would SO do her too!

C: I love your grin in this one (photo of me at conference)

Me: Thanks! Where are you I am missing your txts!

C: Sorry been getting ready. I’m heading out.

Me: Grr how are you going to keep me hot and wet for you? I am getting ready to have my first girlgirl action here!

D: Work it girl! U & she make it happen ; )… even if its leave a bit early & only have 20 mins together b4 the other girls come back @ ur or her hotel.

D: U work out hooking up w R?

Me: Trying she is up for it. We should find a bathroom and go at it. You liken this?

D: Hell yeah! Bathroom idea is great. U can see if u click 1st, then want do more. She’s pretty…how’s her body…hot?

Me: Yes shes a yoga instructor need I say more?

C: On no… no friends taking pictures of me.

Me: why not shes willing I am willing we just need to find a place both our rooms are full. Bathroom?

C: I’m not saying u shouldn’t, no way.

Me: Yes we both have someone else in our room.

D: Cool! U still sharing & enjoying my porn feed? Trying to find some girl-girl action…

Me: Yes we are both enjoying it. But we are enjoying the action shots more than the creampies.

D: Ok. Did she want to sneak away to the bathroom w u now?

Me: Maybe should we take pics?

D: Only if I can see! ; ) I’m so excited for u…do u think it’s gonna happen?

Me: Yes we are discussing the private bathroom downstairs. Fuck!

D: Go for it!!

Me: We are waiting for the bathroom now.

D: She ok w pics?

Me: Yes

C: well bathroom wont be fun for long though

Me: I know but it was good for awhile. ; ) yum! First woman! Done!

C: No way already?

Me: Yes back at my hotel alone wishing I could finish what she and I started. I need some cock, sigh.

C: What did u guys do? Make out? Did u get any pussy? Better yet, did she get any of ur beautiful pussy?

Me: We made out I bit her and bit on the neck she said no marks, darn! We groped each other all over I started the fingering, she kept up. I ate her then we kissed and groped some more and she ate me a bit. Then people were knocking on the door by then so we stopped and she went out to smoke and I came back here.

C: How was it? What was the feeling? Do you know her?

Me: Met her tonight. I was taller. Shes a yoga instructor. It felt fun but rushed. Soft and tentative on her part. Def felt like I was leading but she was willing. Is that how it feels for a guy?

C: Soft and tentative. Well I guess even in a situation like that someone leads and someone follows. It’s not like u had the time to “switch rolls”

C: I am actually more curious as to how the conversation even starts.

I reassured him he'd hear all about it when we met. We have yet to do so, but I am hopeful that happens at some point. Reading through this it was definitely more entertaining while it happened. But. That was the gist of it. Alexa posted this right after and I thought it fitting. She titled it "Been there..." ; )

Girl just look at you

I know a spot down on the river underneath the sycamore tree. Save all your kisses up, bring all your sweet love, pour it all over me. I am IN LOVE with this song right now. It just makes me SMILE and SMILE and SMILE. I need to just buy the album and get it over with. It just makes me want to dance. It's so sexy.

So, dating is going to be fun. I am certainly having fun teasing the boys online. I am in Kansas City on vacation with a friend (L) for a national conference she's attending. I am just along for the ride 'cause it's a free hotel room and some free food because she was able to get me a pass to the conference. Hard to pass that up, so I didn't! I have all those vacation days to burn still, so I am HOPING I'll be able to do some quick 3 day weekend trips in the future. Roomie is talking about hitting San Carlos again, she needs to sign some paperwork.

As part of my vacation, L was able to get us some discounted spa passes so I used Mystic Tan for the first time. I noticed some stickers as I was wandering around so I posted the following pic to the 4 or so boys I am getting to know (one of which includes D, who I am keeping in the herd for some sex : )).

They all said either the playboy bunny or kisses on either lower back or "near your pussy." So, bunny went lower back and kisses went above my pussy.

But the bunny didn't really take, too bad, it was cute, if not a little typical.

The kisses aren't really as red as it looks, they are bad photos. But, what do you think? I will post more follow up shots. I may have mentioned I am growing out for a total brazilian, so please excuse the unkemptness.

Did I mention that I had a little fun at D's on Sunday before I left on vacation? It was some great sex in the bathroom. All about mirrors and looking at each other's bodies, which looked great together, I might add. More great fucking in the ass, yummy, love that! Then he attacked my pussy with a vigor that was a little overwhelming. Eventually he used his hand in my ass where he had just come which felt AMAYZING. Whew! It was great stuff, good for lots of memories later and ensuing wetness. *sigh* It also helped with the orgasm I had at the spa yesterday. This is the shot after the O of my "hydrated" breast and legs.

So, onward and hopefully upward with my boys and the fun.

10

Your Love Is My Drug, Ke$ha - ridiculous I know, lol.

I am giggling like a school girl and emitting sounds I didn't really know possible on a regular basis at this point. Every time I see D it just gets better and better. I relay my tales of the time we spend together to friends and they ask "Is there anything this guy DOESN'T do?" I smile my sly smile and say, "Not that I am aware of."

• He gives great massages, willingly.
• He cooks, and LIKES to cook. We work like a well-oiled machine in the kitchen, he does his thing, I do mine, not getting in each others way, but no words are spoken. It just gets done. Roomie and I operate this way as well, but it's taken 10 years to get there. And the end result is YUM-IE.
• He's handy around the house. Roomie has a long Honey-do list and he's helped with several things on it already. Without complaining about it, or making her or me feel inconvenienced.
• He's up for trying new things.
• He's attentive to my needs, he whipped out some socks the other day when he found my feet where cold (while going to massage them). Then he put them on for me.
• He snores like a mack truck, but has already slept in another room multiple times so I can sleep through the night. Plus he's looking into ways to make it stop with his doctor (took ex 9 years to do this and it never actually stopped.)
• He's great in bed and SUPER attentive to me. Won't stop til I come, which, is a great change and lovely.
• He's totally in charge of and owns his emotions - SUCH a change. He doesn't freak out if I bring something up out of the blue. Roomie asked me when we'd be moving in together, I laughed and laughed. Then realized she was serious. I said, that's not happening ANY time soon. When I relayed this story to D, he replied with "I wonder why she said that?" and proceed to tell me what he thought of it (hadn't even given it a thought) and asked what I thought too.
• He's a good listener without judging.
• He's a good dad and really cares about and for his son.
• He likes to dance and is a great singer, which I find adorable.

All in all, he makes me strive to be a better person, which is really, I think, the most you can hope for with someone. We are going to a concert for the 4th to see some fireworks. I am really looking forward to hanging with him and getting to know him even better.

Here's a Bo Derek shot that I wasn't aware Roomie took while we were in San Carlos. Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Letter to friends and family

Paralyzer "I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you"

6/22/10
"I wanted to let you know I met a really nice guy named D from my online dating profile and we've decided to date exclusively. Yes I know it's sudden, but I have done a lot of work to prepare a "List" of what I am looking for in a person. He fits every item on my list, and it's not a short list.  We've hung out quite a bit already and I haven't felt the awkwardness or anxiousness that I was dreading with the "dating" scene. We totally skipped right past that. It's fantastic and comfortable and he puts me at ease.

I don't think that I need to force myself to "experience dating" and all the ups and downs and anxiety, expense, loneliness and frustration (from what I've been told) that comes along with it. I think I have found someone that I am SUPER comfortable with, feel like I can be myself with and really enjoy being around and thus don't really feel like I need to put that aside just to say "I've dated."

He has been divorced for 9 years, he's 49 and has a 19 year old son. He gets what it means to be a parent and that I am not available when I have the kids. I don't plan to introduce them anytime soon. I'll see how things go with D and me first.

I wanted to keep you all posted on my happenin's. I am sure you'll be hearing more about D in the future. He's great and I really like him. Roomie has met him several times and agrees with me. She's also let him know that he's got "precious cargo" and needs to take care.

This Sunday while we were watching soccer I met a friend of his (who told D while I was in the bathroom, "she's a keeper, don't let her go")."


Until I acquire photos of our exciting evening and bedroom activities, I'll add another photo from San Carlos.
Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Check "yes" or "no"

Cooler than the flipside of my pillow, that's right.

Wow, I just don't even know where to begin. Last I wrote I mentioned D and how we had clicked immediately,  he stayed over, etc. We spent the next 3 days together as time permitted and it continued to feel very much the same way. As if I had known him for a year and there was no need for the awkardness or anxiousness that I was dreading with the "dating" scene. We totally skipped right past that. It's fantastic and comfortable and he puts me at ease.

Then Wednesday rolled around and he requested a "breather" because I had my kids and he needed to "evalute if his thoughts matched his emotions." He was trying to figure out if we are a good match.

This was an ENTIRELY appropriate way to proceed, I mean realistically I am not available during that time frame anyway, right? I've got my kids, I can't go out with someone when I have them, and he knew that. So, why did I convince myself in 3 days that he didn't want to see me anymore? Well because I am silly and overthought it and needed Roomie to help put things in perspective. She was going out of town to the lake over the weekend and we sat and chatted while she packed on Thursday night. She reminded me that there was NO indication on his part that he didn't want to see me anymore, he was just as smitten with me as I was with him and YES she was sure he would be coming over and spending the night on Saturday. I said, well, when you explain it like that, I realize I am being a bit silly. Just making up stories in my head. Which is easy to do when you're as tired as I was (lack of sleep and all). I got extra lucky with her being out of the house for the weekend and also that his son was out of town too.

So moving into Saturday night when he was coming over I was anxious and a little awkward with him. I didn't know where we stood. I wanted to give him time to think and respect his request for a breather. I think he thought I hadn't really given any thought as to why I thought we were "good" together. Why I thought we were a match. I mean we had just barely met right? But the amount of time we'd spend together, a good portion of it talking, had made me realize how many of my requirements he fits. So I decided that the only way I could explain why I thought we were a good match was to share my "relationship list" with him.

So we perusued my list on Saturday after we'd had homemade spaghetti and he agreed that yes he fit all of my requirements with a few variations on the "sex" one: "A man who is sexually compatible with me and is sexually adventurous with a desire for trying new things, including being with another girl or guy, a good kisser and loves giving and receiving oral sex." We had a conversation about that requirement and was the other guy/girl part mandatory, was a it a deal breaker, was it a bucket list kind of thing - I wouldn't feel satisfied with my life until I'd done it, etc? I explained it was a bucket list sort of item, and that he fit the rest of the requirement with no problems. We chatted more about that and I think reached an understanding that allowed him to move on from that issue.

So, long story short, I have a boyfriend. And I am a girlfriend. We're both shocked and surprised and a little scared about how quickly this moved to this stage. I simply wasn't expecting to find someone literally on date one. I mean, who does that happen to? Well, me, us, apparently : ). We agreed to remove our profiles from the web page we met at as a result.

So today we went to a local bar to watch soccer with a friend of his and while I was in the bathroom I was given the green light by the friend and D was told "she's a keeper, don't let her go."

I am a little (ok a lot) giddy over him and am really excited to see where this goes. I really enjoy my time with him and look forward to when I can be with him again. It's just so easy and relaxed and comfortable. He's a real gentleman and I am not used to that so when he does sweet things, it catches me off guard and makes me like him that much more.

Best of all, he makes me smile.
All the time.

This is my new favorite view with him, this isn't us, but, gets you the idea.

And I think this is his favorite view from last night, again, for illustration purposes only.

First Date

La Roux - Bulletproof

My first night of hitting the town as a single lady was last night. Roomie decided to take me to a local bar that she frequents and I was up for it. I have been corresponding with several people on the online dating site and I had several invitations for a date but I decided to stick with my BFF.

As the day progressed I checked my dating web page messages and exchanged a couple with someone I was intrigued by. We'll call him D. D was out with his friends and I let him know that we'd be heading to the bar later. He wished me good luck and mentioned he liked to 2 step. Because the dialogue we'd been having was great I invited him to meet us there and teach me how to 2 step. Roomie is a great dancer and she would very likely have danced with people regardless of if I had a partner or not. Which I am fine with. But I wasn't really looking forward to an entire evening of being the "newbie" at the bar and having to force my way through the maze of what I anticipated to be a lot of attention. (Hey, maybe I am just overly confident, but based on the responses I'd had from the dating site, I wouldn't be alone for most of the night.) So, I felt like inviting someone that I was already interested in and had things in common with would be a good way to ease into this game called dating.

So because this was the first time in over 15 years I was going to be on a date, I had a little cranberry, orange juice and vodka as Roomie drove to the bar. I gave D a call to let him know where we were and we chatted a bit. He was funny and laughed at my jokes. Plus he had a great voice. I was a little tipsy from the amount of alcohol I'd already drank (did I mention I am total lightweight?) so I made a mental note to slow down. We arrived at the bar and he found me waiting while Roomie hit the bathroom. He was a complete gentleman, totally my type and had a great smile. He offered to hold Roomie's drink while we waited and ended up wandering towards the dance floor with it while I was waiting for Roomie. I gathered her up when she came out and we headed over to D. I introduced them and she immediately spotted an ex of hers that she was hoping wouldn't be there. I tried to give D the quick 1-2 and let him know we'd need to watch out for her and this guy. He did so for the rest of the night which I thought was really nice.

We danced a lot, he's a great dancer, great sense of humor about the fact that I was learning and very patient with me. We took some breaks and talked, we really seemed to be connecting. We had a few brief kisses. We ended up leaving the bar at the end of the night. Roomie was very protective, but not wanting to tell me what to do. She made me call her with his cell so she'd have his number. We drove around a bit looking for a place to stop and talk, neither of us was really hungry. We found a park, but apparently that was a bad idea. We started kissing a bit and shortly the police rolled by. They informed us this wasn't a good place to be (the park was closed) and we needed to move on.

He started driving to my place and we talked on the 30 minute drive. We covered a variety of topics and it was a really nice time. He commented several times that I was tempting. When we arrived home I invited him in because I knew Roomie was home. I changed, they chatted, and I rejoined them. He liked what I had changed into, short shorts and t shirt that I normally wear around the house. Roomie went to smoke and we headed to my room.

We had a lovely session of kissing which lead to an even nicer session of getting naked which led to a really great night of sex and talking and laughing and holding and touching and caressing. I told him that it was a perfect night because there was no pressure and he'd been really great on the dance floor. It made it much less stressful for me to enjoy my first night out and I also met a great guy.

We slept a bit when we realized it was getting light already. When we woke up we snuggled and had some pillow talk. Followed by some more sex. He was persistent in making sure that I came and it was a nice change. We got dressed to go down and have breakfast, I put on the same shorts and t shirt from the night before which he really liked. He got down on his knees and pulled my shorts down and had a little taste of my wet wet pussy. Yum, I love that kind of spontaneity.

We had a little bit of breakfast, chatted some more, and he left to do some volunteer work he does on Sunday's. I relayed to Roomie the highlights of the evening and was a little surprised to realize that I really liked him. I wasn't really expecting to find someone soon that I liked so much.

He sent me a quick text after he left:
Thxs again for a great evening of dancing, laughing at my awful jokes, getting chased by the police, making love and sharing who we are! ; )

I replied with:
Thank you! I felt safe with you and that meant a lot and helped me share things with you. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and that leaves me stumbling a little. I didn't expect that kind of connection so early on. You are upsetting my master plan of being "unavailable" and dating for awhile. I honestly am befuddled because I am a little smitten with you.

To which he said:
I like the word smitten. I feel that too.

So am kicking around the idea of just seeing him for a bit and trying it out for size. I am exhausted from not much sleep at this point and am headed to bed. All in all I am super pleased with how this week and weekend went. It's validated to me that others find me attractive and they find me interesting. Or at the least, I write a good dating profile.

Beach times 2

We headed to the lake today. We got a last minute invitation to help celebrate a friend's birthday so Roomie and I packed up at a cooler and off we went. I felt like a spoiled little snot when we pulled up and it was mucky brown water that made me feel dirty to even get in it. The pristine beaches at San Carlos had heightened my expectations quite a bit. lol. Roomie reminded me that this is how lakes are and I realized that I hadn't really been to many lakes and when I had it was on her boat. Launching off a boat is entirely different than sloshing around from the "beach" which is really just dirt.  No pristine beautiful sand here. *sigh*

We saw the friends we had come to hook up with and thought they were making their way back to us. So we settled in to the "beach" and waited until they got there. Roomie and I discussed what my dating profile would contain (did I mention I am getting divorced in 2 days?) and that was fun. Eventually our friends made their way back over to us and we hopped into their canoes to another part of the lake. We found a more secluded area which actually turned the day around and made it a lot of fun. We just hung out in the water all day and chilled. They convinced me to drink a beer (I never acquired the taste) and took a few sips and remembered why I really just don't like it. Blech.

We ended up with dinner (home made pizza) at a town near by and then home again. All in all, a lovely fun day that was casual and relaxing. So nice to just be unencumbered by a time line or responsibilities.

I am very much looking forward to my court date on Tuesday. I need to make sure all my documents are in order tomorrow and then I'll be good to go. I'll keep ya posted.

Oddly, no music or photos today, just me and my words. Time for some blogs then bed.
Nite for now!

Home again, home again

Is this love? This album seemed like the perfect beach music to me, so we enjoyed it in San Carlos.

Well, I have arrived safely home. My trip to San Carlos was a little slice of heaven. Beautiful blue, warm waters, perfect weather, great little studio apartment up on a hill so we could see the Bahia and all the beautiful boats. I think I may have over-used the word "gorgeous" this weekend. It was. I even ate some fish, first in a really long time (vegetarian) and DIDN'T have a reaction, always great. We had some beach time, some walking around time, Roomie was able to sell her lot down there, the reason we went, all in all a great trip. The buyer of her lot also said he wanted to buy her house here. Sigh, moving again when that's final next year... No complaints about the trip (except I am now tired from the "new bed" quasi-sleep) and I would definitely do it again in a heartbeat. Except for the part where roomie dropped my camera in the sand. Yeah. That part sucked. Now the shutter won't open. Grrrr. But she had at least brought hers so I need to get the remaining photos from her.

I leave you with a few parting shots.

An alternate view from our back porch overlooking the Bahia.

The "private" beach we discovered after running into a "local" with his shirt off.

I dubbed him Daniel because he reminded me of Daniel from Lost.

The hill we had to climb to get to home from the private beach. We orginally tried to come down this in the car and there were 2 cement trucks blocking our way. So roomie decided to turn around. Well as you can see, the streets are narrow and cobblestone. It pretty much scared the crap out of us as her tires spun and the car shimmied around. Luckily she was able to get enough traction to move, and not over the huge cliff to the right. We decided to park the car back at our rental and walk. First DOWN this hill. Then back up it to go home.

The bottle of wine I DIDN'T drink.

Me enjoying my pedicure. This was just before I got my first bikini wax. I asked for a full brazilian, somehow that got lost in translation. Ah well. It didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I expected, which of course is great. That's all for now. Nite nite.

Paradise

Kenny Chesney Beer In Mexico

I mentioned I was going to San Carlos right? It's beautiful. This song is the pefect backdrop for my vacation with Roomie. We're having a blast and it's paradise. This is the view from my porch. More later!

Jilling off - fantasy #2

Bel Canto Shimmering Warm and Bright One of my MOST favorite groups. They paint beautiful images with their music. Unicorn is the perfect example.

"Dont be ashamed of what u do if it makes you happy."
Alexa being profound again and delivering a sex positive message via twitter.
I created a new twitter account so that I won't have any problems what with all the people being Dooced on a regular basis. "DafsNightmoves" if you care. Not much of a tweeter, but hopefully things will pick up soon.

I spent some alone time today contemplating "things." I have become more aware of how much I rely on sex to make me feel better and improve my mood, especially when I am pms-ing. I LOVE having sex and I used to look forward to the accessibility of a cock, when I wanted one. I very rarely got turned down. But I have not had any cock available since before March and I am feeling a little empty. My toys just don't fill my wet cunt the same way. I have to imagine what might be happening if you were there, filling me up instead.

I woke up this morning after a dream so real in which I was on the verge of orgasm. I was dripping wet. Roomie had stayed over at her new SO's so I had the place to myself. I lounged on the bed, enjoying my alone time and ventured idly down to my wetness. Mmmmmmm. I love when I am ready to go, no work required. It was windy as all hell here today and the drapes were flying in the breeze as I spread my legs so I could reach my private space.

I dipped two fingers all the way in to coat them with my girl gloss. (All the better to fuck you with my dear.)  My fingers wander up to my clit, sending a little shiver through me. I look down through my tight breasts and hold my pussy lips open with one had, clit firmly grasped between 2 fingers of other hand. Rolling, rolling, flicking. Dip in, more gloss. It looks so hot from this view, I wonder how it would look to you? I need someone to take photos and show me. I am thinking of this and it makes me even more wet.

Dip in, more gloss. My fingers continue the rubbing and rolling on my clit. I have a typical pattern, most people do I think. I use the left side, it's not as eruptive as the right side. If I am feeling like I really need to let loose the right side is the way I go. No mess today, so my fingers linger to the left of my clit, rubbing, stroking.

I am imagining you in between my legs, I can see your eyes over my clit, mouth firmly attached, fingers probing my folds. I start to rock back and forth, imagining a cock filling me, fucking me. I am rolling my hips against your mouth, moving faster and faster as you get closer and closer. I think about WND and our phone calls, how we had phone sex one Sunday afternoon. He left a friend's house to come home and jack off with me. "What are you wearing?" I ask him. Shorts, he says. We whisper thoughts to each other, what we would do, what we want done. He finishes first and enourages me to my end. I whisper, "I am so wet, I am going to get everything all wet!" He laughs, (so SEXY) "That's the idea." I LOVE that he laughed, was comfortable enough to do it. It makes me even more wet just thinking about it.

My breath catches, my stomach starts to clench and my thighs start to twitch and I imagine I am clenching your head to my wetness. Dip in, more gloss. Fingers furiously rubbing now, ass rocking against the bed, legs spread wide and I'm coming! I arch my back and moan raggedly as the stars take over my vision.

I lick the gloss off my fingers, wishing it was you.

Alone, lonely

I am feeling alone, and lonely tonight. I have been checking my secret stash to no avail. There have been no presents left for me. It's disapointing to get all worked up over it (meanwhile in the back of my mind saying, there's nothing, he didn't say ANYTHING), then, nothing. The restrictions on the communication drive me BATTY. I really enjoy the back and forth banter, the playfulness, the teasing. But that's not an option right now, and it makes me so, so sad.

I am at my horny point of the month, so needless to say it's a little more disapointing than usual. And I am a little more wet than usual (though honestly it's hard to top the constant wetness that is "me") and longing for some kissing more than usual. Sigh. I am imagining one short month away at this point. It's a self imposed restriction. I could likely create an online profile now and start dating. But, I don't feel like I should. I feel like I should wait until I am officially divorced. I need the papers. I need permission. I need to take my ring off the day of the court date. Which btw, has to wait to be scheduled until we've both taken our parenting class (next week).
I am looking forward to my San Carlos trip over Memorial Day weekend. We looked at places to rent tonight. Hopefully we'll find a great steal and have a lovely time. I could use some beach time.

Til then, I'll keep looking, and hoping, and waiting and knowing that I care.

*sigh*

For Posterity's Sake

So Amazon put up their new $5 list today and FINALLY,  I bought the bird and the bee's new album today. SUUUUPPPERRRRRR!!!!!! (said like Oprah) If you don't have it already I highly recommend it. I think there was only a couple songs I didn't know, but who the hell cares, it's tbatb and you can't go wrong with them ever. If you insist on knowing my bliss, this is my favorite (of course). It's the perfect marriage of tbatb and Hall and Oats. Sara Smile gave me goose bumps, it's SO good. It would be so great to see them live.

Newly updated stats - obviously we're not being meticulous about location, and roomie asked, "Why are we doing this again?" She's gaining, I am not, so, for posterity's sake:
R                             Me
12.5          neck        13
34             boobs      36.5
33             waist        34
37             hip           38.5
20.75        thigh         22
12             arm          11.5
14.75        calf           15

And (drum roll please) I weighed 147 today. My whole life I have been about 175. My goal weight when I started running 2 years ago was 155. So that's pretty momentus for me. Big goofy smile

I watched another episode of Lost and I want to get another one in tonight, so I am going to call it quits. I'll leave you with a view of the new nighty I am wearing.

Your Love, your love

I have to admit I like this song. She's a HORRIBLE singer, but the tune manages to plant itself in my brain and won't get out, (wait, that's a place a cat can go) won't leave. It's ridiculous.

So roomie went out with a guy tonight so I ran by myself. 6 miles to the closest casino, then worked out. How else am I going to get to one of the bodies below? This is a collection of photos that inspire me that I made my desktop.

Yum and a bunch more of yum. Good inspiration for the up coming trip we're planning to San Carlos over Memorial Day weekend. Whohoo!!

I filed for the default today. Now I can call tomorrow and actually get my court date. Lookin' at June 8th to be divorced. How's that work for ya'll? Everyone free? I was reading the Ethical Slut V2 at lunch today and while I was waiting for my turn. I've changed my quote under Night Moves to more accurately reflect the mood.

So I LOVE reading Dooce and you should check out her post from today. Hi Lair E Us. I love her humor. She made working out funny. I aspire to that. She's my lunch time guilty pleasure along with MLIA. Some of them are totally made up, but you can skip past to the ones that make you laugh.

I was supposed to meet a coworker for coffee today (casual, no biggie) and I totally got the skeeves about it so I bailed. It was ODD. He's married, he knows I am married (and getting divorced), he's made comments about how attractive he thinks I am but the feeling is not reciprocal nor have I ever indicated it was. In fact he reminds me SO much of C, but times 10. And I have told him that, and he keeps coming back for more. So I need to keep it to IMing and I will likely have to tame that down. I have to admit I like the attention though. Bad me.

Also, I finally was able to apologize to B for a comment I made over a year ago. We haven't spoken since then, at his request. I tried reconnecting with him recently, no response. He actually needed something from me today that was work related so he ASKED SOMEONE ELSE TO ASK ME FOR IT. It was ridiculous. So I sent him a note saying that I wished he had just asked me himself and that I thought it was sad our former friendship had dissolved to this. I said I wish you the best in your future. Then I felt like I hadn't said enough, so I sent one more email saying, "I sincerely apologize for anything I might have said that offended you, that was never the intent." What else are you supposed to do when you tell a guy you're not interested in him sexually but you enjoy his friendship? Sheesh, I lost a good friend over that (or apparently not). As J said, "B is an idiot." But, I apologized today, and now I am going to move away with a clear conscious.

So, I am back onto Lost. I checked into ABC last night and realized that ALL the episodes are posted, YAY so I was able to go back as far as I had missed. So, I am going to check out one more tonight before I call it quits. Enjoy Ke$ha. I am on listen #10 or so at this point. Lol (rolling eyes).

I need you to

Ingram Hill, Chicago, new band in the stack of cd's roomie's SO let me borrow. They remind me of Lifehouse.

My sweet adorable 6 year old worked on his homework tonight while I got my other son ready for bed. When I checked back in with him he had completed a whole sheet all by himself, awesome! So I checked it and and this is what he had done:

It was SO stinkin cute I could barely contain my laughter. Since he wrote the whole thing on his own I had to complement him for getting it done. Then I showed it to roomie and her SO who happened to be over. Roomie commented "He's SO your son." I felt so proud : ). They agreed it was worth keeping for future embarassment purposes. So I snapped a quick pic and then calmly told him, "You did a GREAT job! But you spelled the last word wrong, you'll need to change it..." which he proceeded to do and added "here please" to the end, which made more sense. : )

It's the little things sometimes.

We have Liftoff!!

I got a rocket, you're goin' on it. You're never comin' back.

Well I finally got my mifi, whohoooo! I am so pleased I don't have to be polite about who's using the internet anymore. I like using it whenever the hell I want to, not after roomie is done. Though she was very agreeable about the whole thing. If she doesn't have cable, I am going to need access to the internet. The end. And I don't even want to talk about the cell phone debacle at this point. Let's suffice to say I don't have it yet.

I can officially file for the default tomorrow. I will have to take some time off work to make that happen. I'll keep ya posted. I keep meaning to say that I loved the fact that this was the song that was playing as I was driving to file for divorce. "If I could see the future and see how this plays out, I bet it's better than where we are now..."
 
Ran again for the first time tonight since I hurt my knee. It hurts again. Probably good I don't run while I have the kids, that will give it a few days to heal again.
 
Got a random phone call today from bte that made me blush and giggle. I enjoy him.
And that's it for tonight my friends. I'll leave you with a dreamy glimpse of my new panties.
Sleep tight. ; )

Grrrrr

Rachel Stevens Blue Afternoon This song is actually a little too upbeat for this post, but I heard it recently and liked it. The message is fitting though.

It's been another of those days.

I think this is the 4th week in a row now that I cried when dropping off the kids, and not because I am going to miss them, but because of how utterly frustrated I am by their behavior. I have to admit I did SOOOOO much better today with my reaction to their behavior. And to give them due credit they were cooped up inside a very small cell phone store for 2.5 hours.

This is after the play that we expected to take 30 minutes for K which then turned into a 2.5 hour situation that involved ALL the childcare programs from the southern part of the state. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? So that meant I spent from about 11:00am to 7:00pm with C.

AND I had to wake up at 5:45am so I could be ready to register K for said child care program for the summer which took 53 minutes of hitting the refresh button to finally be able to log into the system. I was done by 7:00am at which time F promptly woke up.

AND I walked away from the phone store with NOTHING after being there for 2.5 hours because they refused to transfer my phone number!!! (They'll let us know tomorrow if they'll let us take on the new plan without charging us the extra $220 termination fees for the existing plan we have on a sister company. We'll be spending DOUBLE what we're currently paying just so we don't have to be a rider on this other plan anymore which has become a SEVERE pain in the ass, this termination thing is the perfect example. And they'll THINK about letting us off. But there's absolutely no way they'll transfer the numbers. Not even to another company because of the kind of plan it is. WTF!!??!! So I am going to have to notify everyone who has or may have ever had my cell phone of my forthcoming new number.)

AND after spending 8 hours with my soon to be ex, NO ONE called me. ALL DAY. NO. ONE.

Oh and did I mention I fell on Thursday and jacked up my knee so I am gimping around and CAN'T RUN????!!!!

Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths.

So, here I sit while roomie and her SO are at the county fair (thought I was going with, guess not) and I am going to watch back episodes of Lost. I am only 7 weeks behind. No cable here at roomie's ya know.

Sorry, I needed to vent.

It's Thursday

And I may break your heart, but I don't think there's anyone as bomb as me.

At some point I will start participating in HNT, but I haven't yet.
I have been moody and down as of late. I miss him. The chatting but not chatting doesn't help. It just makes me want more. But then I do really enjoy it as well. It's that catch 22, the dichotomy of my life.
Grrrr.

I helped roomie color her hair. It was her birthday 2 days ago so I made her dinner and a cake last night.

I was tweeting with Alexa yesterday about suppressing my gag reflex. She reminded me about her post regarding that subject. I reread it, and remembered that you had sent it to me originally. It was such a turn on to chat with her directly. If you aren't aware of her, please stop by and <>check her out. She's so eloquent and I love her writing.

I am trying to go back and add images that I find on her tumbler to my previous posts to further illustrate. If you had one you like you might want check back and see if it's new and improved yet.

Til then, I have to give back the internet to my roomie. I am hoping this will be remedied this weekend when I'll be purchasing <>a mifi. Looking forward to my <>new phone too.

When they're made like that

You ain't ever gonna sleep at night.

Well they managed to go three nights in a row without getting up out of bed. For me, that's the whole week. Woohoo!! If you read this, you'll know why that's so awesome.

I got lots done today, woke up at 5:15am with F crying his head off. Luckily he went back to bed until just after 7. A little video shopping for the kids as a thank you for 3 nights. Lunch, dropped off the kids, a hair cut and was lucky enough to have him refresh the color. I mentioned the last color started fading within 3 weeks, which is a lot sooner than normal. So he did a refresh. Super cool. Then I bought some new bras and panties. Maybe we'll see more of those later. Then I came home and washed 2 cars, vacuumed, ran with the dog and then roomie got home and we ate dinner and watched The Princess Bride. She didn't recall ever seeing it so of course we popped it in.
The car washing was in a bathing suit, I was enjoying the 87 degrees with the breeze. Perfect car washing weather. I must have been doing something right, we live on a culdesac and there were cars making the rounds. I was entertained. Heard the song while washing car #2. It made me smile.
Tomorrow, a lot of nothing. That will be so nice. I am sure roomie will want to do some organizing. We've got plans with friends later for dinner. Should be a nice leisurely day. Just what you're dying to read about, I am sure.
It's midnight and I have been up a long time. So, nite nite.