The Office

Must be doin' somethin right. Watch at 2:48, that's us when we're snuggling at night.

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman. They loved being with each other, were totally comfortable trying new things and stretching their boundaries. One night she mentioned a fantasy she'd always had about the office. He was intrigued. He said they should try it.

So they did.

I had to go into work a few weekends back because we've got a lot of events happening right now. My boss has been traveling a lot too and that tends to make my work load back up until I can get some face time. To combat this in between trips I sometimes work after hours.

It was Sunday and we had gone for a run when my boss called me to send him an email, that I had already sent. It was almost 8 by the time I got into work, "real quick" and that turned into 3 hours. Poor D fell asleep on the ground. I felt really bad. So when I was done (at 11 pm), I climbed  on top of him to wake him up. That led back to my cubicle, that lead to his pants coming off. And my top coming off, then all our clothes were off. My fantasy was running through our minds, we discussed it and enjoyed as much of it as we could, being only the 2 of us. I layed down on my desk and took him into my throat with my head hanging off the desk. He loves it when I do that with him. He sends me photos and tells me how hot it is when he thinks of us doing it. I was able to get a nice rhythm going and figure out my breathing in conjunction with his thrusts. Yum.
We had watched a bit of porn the night before when a guy had spun a girl around by her neck and I'd told him I thought it was hot. He did that with me on the desk and we both smiled. Was in the perfect position to hold my legs up together while he held my thighs and pounded his hard cock into me. He had one of his famous "bear orgasms" and then had a lovely time enjoying himself in between my legs. I assisted and eventually had a fantastic orgasm, all spurred on my the public nature of the occasion.  I loved that he was game for it and didn't tease about it, then not follow through.

I can cross that one off the bucket list now. Not to say it won't ever happen again. Today he txt'd me and told me how horny he was since we hadn't seen each other in 2 days. He said we should try the stairwell I'd shown him next time.

Lovin' that. : )

My HNT photo for the week reminds me of this song. Spent most of the weekend at his place and he took this picture yesterday morning before I woke up. I had no idea he'd taken it. He likes it when I wear his clothes to bed, then they smell like me after I leave. We've been doing some running together which is great. Gotta keep those legs in shape! Be sure to check in with Os to see who else is playing on HNT.

Weird spot

I am in a weird mood today. D mentioned via email this morning that he'd had a girl over to the house last night. This was only after I had txt'd him last night to ask if I could call him. Didn't hear back from him for awhile, then his response was "Out for a bit." To which I replied, "Going to bed, night." I was pretty sure he was on a date, even though that wasn't the "protocol" we discussed which would have been "I am busy." Semantics I know, but, out for a bit could have been with buddies, his son etc.

This morning I get an email letting me know that he had someone over, she's interested in getting into a more serious relationship with him, but he's losing interest because he just thinks about me when he's with other people. And "did I do that?"

Well, yeah.

So now I am in this mental funk visualizing him having someone at his house. Where I sit. Where I eat. Where I am.

Not likin' those thoughts very much.

And now I get where he was coming from when we discussed me and my dates in the past. I really thought that I wasn't the jealous type. Does it mean I care more than I thought because it bothers me? That's his take on it when I shared how I felt. I dunno. It may just be part of my expansion and growing through the dating process.

I will say, I cut it off tonight with 3 guys I had gone out on dates with. I did it over text too, is that TOTALY gutless or what? Something along the lines of "I feel like I am not being completely upfront with you. After mentally reviewing our evening, I didn't feel a connection on my part with you. So I wouldn't mind staying in touch with you as friends, but I think that would be the extent of it. No hard feelings?"
They were all very gracious and replied with, no hard feelings, best of luck etc. I just felt like I was leading them all on with the hopes that, oh, they may invite me to their house in San Carlos, etc. Lame. Materialistic. User. I didn't like thinking of myself that way. So, I cut it off. Feel better about myself now. Which is great. And a start. Now I just need to work on those other things I am having an issue with myself over:
Running
Parenting
Time Management
Staying on task at work

That's a good list to start with. I am pretty happy beyond that to be honest. But we all have those little areas we feel like we could improve ourselves. I need to start using "can do" statements. I CAN do that. I can find/make the time to run more to help me keep my weight at a level I want, I can be a better mom, I can be a better, more productive employee etc. Also using these with my kids. Already noticing a difference. Seems to be a good start.

For HNT I'll do one of my "thoughtful" poses. Be sure to check out Os to see who else is playing.

Daffodils

Song of the day: Baby I'm in. Love, love, LOVING this song by Keith Urban right now. If you need a lover and a friend...

I was so honored to be chosen as the Mystery Guest today! I think of this blog really as a diary. As events happen I think about how I am going to word them, or how a photo would accent a post. But if I miss posting it or sharing that thought, it's ok, it's just for me. Well, apparently others are watching and that just tickles me pink! : ) I was really pleased that Os picked the poem that he did. Daffodils are very special to me because of J. The constant back and forth was which flower was my favorite? Daisies. No, he'd correct me, they're daffodils. No, daises, daffodils, etc... So it  made me smile in my heart when Os picked that.

I have a wedding to go to this Saturday. And I think I may actually have a dinner date on Sunday. I am at the point where I rate all potential dates on how badly I want to see them vs the time they take away from D. We pretty much spend all our spare time together, which I love. It's like having a home base but with the freedom to explore other people. An open, semi-but-not-committed relationship, who knew?! : )

Tuesday night D didn't say the words "do you want to stay over" or some variation on that, so I didn't assume I would. It's a long haul from my house to ANYWHERE (15 minutes just to the freeway, then another 10 minimum to anywhere) so if I am going to stay over at his place I have to plan in advance since he's 30 mins away in good traffic. I planned for staying over Sunday and Monday. Then Tuesday rolled around and I had a little Girls Night Out jewelry party for a friend and hadn't planned to stay with him. Didn't have enough meds,  clothes, had to send off pics to Os for HNT MG, and my laptop stays at home, etc. So the end of the night rolled around and I went back to his place to pick up my stuff he was surprised to find I wasn't staying. I said, well, you never "officially" invited me and I didn't want to assume, since we're not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, that I could just stay over. He was so disappointed. And then so was I. Awww. I really wanted to stay. But I really wanted to go home and send off my photos too! So, to say we spend most of our free time together isn't really stretching it much.

Last night I was gathering up the boys to head them upstairs for shower and their 3 simple steps (think Special Agent Oso - fun version) and Roomie's dog Maggie started doing crazy dog laps in the house. You know, when they are running around in circles through all the rooms in the house while you just try to stay out of their way? Well, I was moving to the side, she dodged where she THOUGHT I was going, and, BAM!! I end up on my ass on the tile floor. I was pretty lucky I didn't hit my head on the wall that was a foot away. So, now my bum, wrist and ankle are all a little sore. I am hoping they don't hurt tomorrow. I plan to do some dancing at the wedding this weekend!

So I am not entirely pleased with the way the I Kissed a Girl post turned out. I think I will supplement it at some point. It didn't really have the effect that I wanted. Keep an eye out for that.

Today, I have plans to have D to work at lunch time for a little afternoon delight in a private bathroom I know about. That should be fun. I invited him yesterday for lunch but he wasn't able to make it. So, I tempted him with this bit of texting yesterday when he let me know he was done for the day with work:

Me: Yay! Time for you to come over here so I can attack you.

D: Very tempting babe! We could find a hideaway spot for some public sex ; )

Me: Just thinking of all the private bathrooms I know about... And what I am going to do to you in them.

D: Yum! OK... give me a little "for example..." please?

Me: I would take you over to the next building and find one of the private bathrooms. The door would lock and I would push you against the door and drop to my knees. Your belt would come off first. Then your pants, unzipped. Next your cock comes out and I wrap my mouth around it. You've been thinking about this so you're a little hard already. (ELO Evil Woman is playing right now).

D: Awesome visual... I'm so there! Can you actually make that happen?

Me: Yup ; )

D: Tomorrow at lunch?

Me: Yep if you want to come here.

D: Hell yeah I want to cum there! ; ) When is good for u? Meet 1st at your office?

Me: Lol, eager all of a sudden. 1130ish, noon, 1, whatever.

D: Kind of a big deal don't u think?

Me: Why do you think I invited you over today lover?

D: Thx! But just making sure ur not gonna get in trouble... or is that part of the fun? ; )

Me: Not going to get in trouble. That's what lunch breaks are for right?

D: Absolutely. U want me to bring my camera?

Me: Bring whatever you'd like. 11:30 works and I am flexible.

D: Ok 11:30 it is. My treat for lunch after. Bring ur vibrator too.
Me: Oooooo! That WOULD be interesting! And great for pics...
D: You like the way I'm thinkin I see!!

Me: Always baby. That's why I keep you around. You're fun in all the right ways. : )

D: ; )

Me: I am SO looking forward to having your cock in my mouth tomorrow. Wish it was now.

D: Oohhh baby! Me too. And ur pussy in my mouth ; )

Me: (Big inhale) YUM!

D: Breathe deeply & softly my love! ; )

So I'll recap in the next post because by the time I post this, it will have already happened : ) Hopefully I'll have some great before shots for the Brazilian I have scheduled tomorrow. I'll post those with the recap. Until then, here's my HNT for the day! At some point I will figure out how to do those click throughs but, not today! Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Mental Masturbator

I wanna celebrate and live my life

I know it's been a bit, but, things have done a complete 180 since I last posted and I am working through it.
I think I've mentioned I get cold sores. Or maybe I haven't. Either way, I do. And apparently I was the first person EVER that D experienced that has them. Sooooo I could go into the whole sordid story, but it's too long, let me sum up.
He mentioned last week while we were hanging out here watching a movie that he "thinks he might be falling in love with me." My reaction was a sharp intake of breath and turning away so I could think about how to respond. I basically told him I didn't feel that way, respected that he had shared that with me, didn't fault him for feeling that way, but wanted to take some time to get to know him to see if those feelings developed. He later told me he thought I handled it well.  Fast forward a few days later, I get a cold sore and he's like WHAT? What is that, what does that mean, how long will it be there, can I get it, how long would I have it... etc. Total lack of ANY knowledge about them at all. So, I gave him a link to a webpage and encouraged him to do some research. He said he was going to need a few days to figure out how he felt about this new development. *sigh* Ok. Fast forward a couple days, we meet and I am pretty darn sure he's going to break up with me. Yup. He breaks up with me after a couple of hours of discussion. I didn't try to convince him to stay, I don't need to. I am worth staying for. And if he was "thinking me might be...", anyway.  I brought up the comment that he'd made about if we were committed to each other that meant we could work through anything, as long as we WANTED to. I said, where do cold sore fit in there...? Uhhhhh.
Yeah, what I thought. He let me know he's not the kind of guy to change his mind when he makes up his mind, it's not respectful of me and my feelings, etc.

So, because I was willing to be mature and we'd already made plans to watch a movie together the next day, I went forward with that to see how "friends" felt. It felt awkward. And I let him know it. Which led to us NOT watching the movie, but talking again for a couple of hours about how I thought he had responded in fear and it was a knee-jerk reaction. I didn't appreciate that he didn't trust me to keep his health and safety first and foremost when I have cold sores. (k I am realizing this isn't the short version) He agreed he hadn't done that, but realized that he still didn't know all that he could about cold sores. I answered questions, told him some more information, told him how I'd handled it with partners in the past etc. I asked if he regretted his decision to break up with me. He said he did, and that doesn't normally happen. I said, well, do you regret it enough for there to be a chance to get back together? He said yes. So, we talked about how that might happen. Then he got around to admitting that, oh, by the way, he really was mad about my reaction from when he'd made that comment last week.
REALLY?
Really?
So, we talked about that awhile. Which led to the agreement that we'd date. And date other people. And feel it out to see how it went. And we started the movie again. And that led to, well, can I touch you here? Yes. Here? Yes. Here? Yes.
Which led to me being able to cross off a bucket list item. Sex while standing up and him holding me up, legs around his waist. Nummy. And to make it even better, there was a mirror I watched it all in.
It was great.
Wake up the next morning in his bed, have sex again. He says he wants to think about how he wants to proceed as friends. Go home, go to work next day, we IM and I ask how the thinking is going, that I had been thinking too. He says he has made up his mind to move on, but doesn't want to lose me. I respond with, well, then, good luck, it's been fun knowing you, thanks for your time and patience with my newness to the market. I told him I'd like to be able to check in on him at some point and hoped he'd feel comfortable to do the same. We said goodbye.
Then I cried. Really didn't expect to. Sorta surprised me that I did. Ok, really surprised me that I did. He was a nice guy and I don't regret spending time with him. But, he's going down as guy #5. Halfway to the goal of 10!
Back on the dating webpage, got a few takers already. Having fun but haven't met anyone yet. Staying up WAY too late chatting. Going on vacation all next week, really looking forward to it.

So, I wasn't able to acquire any photos, but this was buzzing around today from Alexa, so I am posting it as my HNT. Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Letter to friends and family

Paralyzer "I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you"

6/22/10
"I wanted to let you know I met a really nice guy named D from my online dating profile and we've decided to date exclusively. Yes I know it's sudden, but I have done a lot of work to prepare a "List" of what I am looking for in a person. He fits every item on my list, and it's not a short list.  We've hung out quite a bit already and I haven't felt the awkwardness or anxiousness that I was dreading with the "dating" scene. We totally skipped right past that. It's fantastic and comfortable and he puts me at ease.

I don't think that I need to force myself to "experience dating" and all the ups and downs and anxiety, expense, loneliness and frustration (from what I've been told) that comes along with it. I think I have found someone that I am SUPER comfortable with, feel like I can be myself with and really enjoy being around and thus don't really feel like I need to put that aside just to say "I've dated."

He has been divorced for 9 years, he's 49 and has a 19 year old son. He gets what it means to be a parent and that I am not available when I have the kids. I don't plan to introduce them anytime soon. I'll see how things go with D and me first.

I wanted to keep you all posted on my happenin's. I am sure you'll be hearing more about D in the future. He's great and I really like him. Roomie has met him several times and agrees with me. She's also let him know that he's got "precious cargo" and needs to take care.

This Sunday while we were watching soccer I met a friend of his (who told D while I was in the bathroom, "she's a keeper, don't let her go")."


Until I acquire photos of our exciting evening and bedroom activities, I'll add another photo from San Carlos.
Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Happiness

I know it's been awhile since I posted, but I have been busy (as you'll see). I promise to be more attentive.

The Ruby Suns, Closet Astrologer

I don't know if you know about the Amazon $5 albums or not, but this month WOW! what a selection. There are so many great albums that I'd love to have but budget constraints make me be picky. I mean where else can you get anything from The Beach Boys to Billy Idol to The Ting Tings for $5?!? Sheesh! Today's choices were: Life House and One Eskimo. But there were really so many I could have bought in a heart beat.

They also have a really varied selection of free music and a new download every day in both a single and an album. Yesterday I got Digital Bang: The 2010 Sub Pop album and am really enjoying it. Closet Astrologer is on it, but they aren't all like that. It's a good sample.
You can check out both the $5 albums and the free stuff here.
And no Amazon didn't pay me to say any of it. I am just a big fan of free and cheap music being the crazed music junkie that I am.

So, I got divorced on Tuesday. Yup, the big D! It was strangely anti-climatic and my ex (ooooo first use of that!) even commented on that. Which is great, the less drama the better. It was likely the most amicable and inexpensive divorce ever. Hopefully it will continue to be the same. I have already gotten a profile on a dating web page. Since I have face shots I may not share the location... BUT! I am looking forward to lots of fun. Already had the booty call at midnight. I think a date is a good place to start : ). There's got to be chemistry, THEN we'll move to booty calls, ; ).

So with that being said, I think this is the perfect HNT photo for today:

The card is from a friend when she found out I was getting divorced. I have a great support system and am really grateful for it. I am surprised by how much I unconsciously played with my ring. I find my fingers reaching for it while I am walking or whatever and it's a subtle reminder of the change. And a great one : ). I do feel nekkid without it.

Everyone keeps asking how I feel, and what now? My response has been, I feel "available" and "dating" is what now. So, hopefully the stories will unfold. Being a huge reader, I am calling this the next chapter in my book and a prospect asked a great question: what is the title? So I came up with "My Turn: The Good I Deserve and the Happiness I Seek." Apparently my profile is already a little intimidating. Funny, I just don't see myself that way. I just know what I want and am not going to accept less at this point. I am glad when people are brave enough to push past that though.

Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!

Half-Nekkid Thursday

I enjoyed my time in San Carlos and had some fun thinking of some half-nekid ideas. Here's the first I took of my view at the private beach we discovered. Enjoy!

Half-Nekkid Holding pattern

I am feeling un-inclined to post right now. Sorry for the absence. I am in a strangely reflective mood. End of an era, start of a new phase etc. etc. Lots of self reflection going on.

I am catching up on my reading of other blogs though and am discovering some new ones.

*Sigh*

Sorry, I am just at a lack for words. So, to encourage some creativity I decided to join in on the 5th anniversary of Half-Nekkid Thursday. This is my inaugural shot of the extra sun I got over the weekend, sorry for the quality. The juices will flow soon, I promise.