Mental Masturbator

I wanna celebrate and live my life

I know it's been a bit, but, things have done a complete 180 since I last posted and I am working through it.
I think I've mentioned I get cold sores. Or maybe I haven't. Either way, I do. And apparently I was the first person EVER that D experienced that has them. Sooooo I could go into the whole sordid story, but it's too long, let me sum up.
He mentioned last week while we were hanging out here watching a movie that he "thinks he might be falling in love with me." My reaction was a sharp intake of breath and turning away so I could think about how to respond. I basically told him I didn't feel that way, respected that he had shared that with me, didn't fault him for feeling that way, but wanted to take some time to get to know him to see if those feelings developed. He later told me he thought I handled it well.  Fast forward a few days later, I get a cold sore and he's like WHAT? What is that, what does that mean, how long will it be there, can I get it, how long would I have it... etc. Total lack of ANY knowledge about them at all. So, I gave him a link to a webpage and encouraged him to do some research. He said he was going to need a few days to figure out how he felt about this new development. *sigh* Ok. Fast forward a couple days, we meet and I am pretty darn sure he's going to break up with me. Yup. He breaks up with me after a couple of hours of discussion. I didn't try to convince him to stay, I don't need to. I am worth staying for. And if he was "thinking me might be...", anyway.  I brought up the comment that he'd made about if we were committed to each other that meant we could work through anything, as long as we WANTED to. I said, where do cold sore fit in there...? Uhhhhh.
Yeah, what I thought. He let me know he's not the kind of guy to change his mind when he makes up his mind, it's not respectful of me and my feelings, etc.

So, because I was willing to be mature and we'd already made plans to watch a movie together the next day, I went forward with that to see how "friends" felt. It felt awkward. And I let him know it. Which led to us NOT watching the movie, but talking again for a couple of hours about how I thought he had responded in fear and it was a knee-jerk reaction. I didn't appreciate that he didn't trust me to keep his health and safety first and foremost when I have cold sores. (k I am realizing this isn't the short version) He agreed he hadn't done that, but realized that he still didn't know all that he could about cold sores. I answered questions, told him some more information, told him how I'd handled it with partners in the past etc. I asked if he regretted his decision to break up with me. He said he did, and that doesn't normally happen. I said, well, do you regret it enough for there to be a chance to get back together? He said yes. So, we talked about how that might happen. Then he got around to admitting that, oh, by the way, he really was mad about my reaction from when he'd made that comment last week.
REALLY?
Really?
So, we talked about that awhile. Which led to the agreement that we'd date. And date other people. And feel it out to see how it went. And we started the movie again. And that led to, well, can I touch you here? Yes. Here? Yes. Here? Yes.
Which led to me being able to cross off a bucket list item. Sex while standing up and him holding me up, legs around his waist. Nummy. And to make it even better, there was a mirror I watched it all in.
It was great.
Wake up the next morning in his bed, have sex again. He says he wants to think about how he wants to proceed as friends. Go home, go to work next day, we IM and I ask how the thinking is going, that I had been thinking too. He says he has made up his mind to move on, but doesn't want to lose me. I respond with, well, then, good luck, it's been fun knowing you, thanks for your time and patience with my newness to the market. I told him I'd like to be able to check in on him at some point and hoped he'd feel comfortable to do the same. We said goodbye.
Then I cried. Really didn't expect to. Sorta surprised me that I did. Ok, really surprised me that I did. He was a nice guy and I don't regret spending time with him. But, he's going down as guy #5. Halfway to the goal of 10!
Back on the dating webpage, got a few takers already. Having fun but haven't met anyone yet. Staying up WAY too late chatting. Going on vacation all next week, really looking forward to it.

So, I wasn't able to acquire any photos, but this was buzzing around today from Alexa, so I am posting it as my HNT. Happy HNT and be sure to stop by Osbasso to see who else is playing!