Home again, home again

Is this love? This album seemed like the perfect beach music to me, so we enjoyed it in San Carlos.

Well, I have arrived safely home. My trip to San Carlos was a little slice of heaven. Beautiful blue, warm waters, perfect weather, great little studio apartment up on a hill so we could see the Bahia and all the beautiful boats. I think I may have over-used the word "gorgeous" this weekend. It was. I even ate some fish, first in a really long time (vegetarian) and DIDN'T have a reaction, always great. We had some beach time, some walking around time, Roomie was able to sell her lot down there, the reason we went, all in all a great trip. The buyer of her lot also said he wanted to buy her house here. Sigh, moving again when that's final next year... No complaints about the trip (except I am now tired from the "new bed" quasi-sleep) and I would definitely do it again in a heartbeat. Except for the part where roomie dropped my camera in the sand. Yeah. That part sucked. Now the shutter won't open. Grrrr. But she had at least brought hers so I need to get the remaining photos from her.

I leave you with a few parting shots.

An alternate view from our back porch overlooking the Bahia.

The "private" beach we discovered after running into a "local" with his shirt off.

I dubbed him Daniel because he reminded me of Daniel from Lost.

The hill we had to climb to get to home from the private beach. We orginally tried to come down this in the car and there were 2 cement trucks blocking our way. So roomie decided to turn around. Well as you can see, the streets are narrow and cobblestone. It pretty much scared the crap out of us as her tires spun and the car shimmied around. Luckily she was able to get enough traction to move, and not over the huge cliff to the right. We decided to park the car back at our rental and walk. First DOWN this hill. Then back up it to go home.

The bottle of wine I DIDN'T drink.

Me enjoying my pedicure. This was just before I got my first bikini wax. I asked for a full brazilian, somehow that got lost in translation. Ah well. It didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I expected, which of course is great. That's all for now. Nite nite.

Paradise

Kenny Chesney Beer In Mexico

I mentioned I was going to San Carlos right? It's beautiful. This song is the pefect backdrop for my vacation with Roomie. We're having a blast and it's paradise. This is the view from my porch. More later!

Jilling off - fantasy #2

Bel Canto Shimmering Warm and Bright One of my MOST favorite groups. They paint beautiful images with their music. Unicorn is the perfect example.

"Dont be ashamed of what u do if it makes you happy."
Alexa being profound again and delivering a sex positive message via twitter.
I created a new twitter account so that I won't have any problems what with all the people being Dooced on a regular basis. "DafsNightmoves" if you care. Not much of a tweeter, but hopefully things will pick up soon.

I spent some alone time today contemplating "things." I have become more aware of how much I rely on sex to make me feel better and improve my mood, especially when I am pms-ing. I LOVE having sex and I used to look forward to the accessibility of a cock, when I wanted one. I very rarely got turned down. But I have not had any cock available since before March and I am feeling a little empty. My toys just don't fill my wet cunt the same way. I have to imagine what might be happening if you were there, filling me up instead.

I woke up this morning after a dream so real in which I was on the verge of orgasm. I was dripping wet. Roomie had stayed over at her new SO's so I had the place to myself. I lounged on the bed, enjoying my alone time and ventured idly down to my wetness. Mmmmmmm. I love when I am ready to go, no work required. It was windy as all hell here today and the drapes were flying in the breeze as I spread my legs so I could reach my private space.

I dipped two fingers all the way in to coat them with my girl gloss. (All the better to fuck you with my dear.)  My fingers wander up to my clit, sending a little shiver through me. I look down through my tight breasts and hold my pussy lips open with one had, clit firmly grasped between 2 fingers of other hand. Rolling, rolling, flicking. Dip in, more gloss. It looks so hot from this view, I wonder how it would look to you? I need someone to take photos and show me. I am thinking of this and it makes me even more wet.

Dip in, more gloss. My fingers continue the rubbing and rolling on my clit. I have a typical pattern, most people do I think. I use the left side, it's not as eruptive as the right side. If I am feeling like I really need to let loose the right side is the way I go. No mess today, so my fingers linger to the left of my clit, rubbing, stroking.

I am imagining you in between my legs, I can see your eyes over my clit, mouth firmly attached, fingers probing my folds. I start to rock back and forth, imagining a cock filling me, fucking me. I am rolling my hips against your mouth, moving faster and faster as you get closer and closer. I think about WND and our phone calls, how we had phone sex one Sunday afternoon. He left a friend's house to come home and jack off with me. "What are you wearing?" I ask him. Shorts, he says. We whisper thoughts to each other, what we would do, what we want done. He finishes first and enourages me to my end. I whisper, "I am so wet, I am going to get everything all wet!" He laughs, (so SEXY) "That's the idea." I LOVE that he laughed, was comfortable enough to do it. It makes me even more wet just thinking about it.

My breath catches, my stomach starts to clench and my thighs start to twitch and I imagine I am clenching your head to my wetness. Dip in, more gloss. Fingers furiously rubbing now, ass rocking against the bed, legs spread wide and I'm coming! I arch my back and moan raggedly as the stars take over my vision.

I lick the gloss off my fingers, wishing it was you.

Half-Nekkid Holding pattern

I am feeling un-inclined to post right now. Sorry for the absence. I am in a strangely reflective mood. End of an era, start of a new phase etc. etc. Lots of self reflection going on.

I am catching up on my reading of other blogs though and am discovering some new ones.

*Sigh*

Sorry, I am just at a lack for words. So, to encourage some creativity I decided to join in on the 5th anniversary of Half-Nekkid Thursday. This is my inaugural shot of the extra sun I got over the weekend, sorry for the quality. The juices will flow soon, I promise.

He loves me, he loves me not

I'm not myself tonight, Christina Aguilera's new single. It's yummy and so is the video, hhhoooootttt! I counted 12 outfit changes. It seems she has a latex fetish happening. Or maybe that's just her alter persona. We all have one. Or two...

I have been doing some soul searching lately and been trying to analyze why I continue with some of my self destructive behaviors. So in an effort to be the best ME, I am stopping some of those things. And pursing others that I've let fall to the side. Being honest with myself is a start, then that radiates out to others. Other feelings, other decisions, other people, etc.

Well, just an update. Wrong Number Dave has apparently lost that lovin' feeling. Haven't heard from him in a few weeks at this point. No biggie. He was a fabulous starting point and helped me with some additions to my list. What list? you ask. Oh, well Astrologer Dawn insists that everyone create a list of all of the qualities you're looking for in a man. And then a list of all the qualities you have to offer in a relationship. It's a working document, obviously. And each man at the "Man Mall" as she has dubbed it, will help me to get closer to the "ideal" partner for me. I am looking forward to fine tuning it. Maybe I'll post it another time.

Until then I am looking, but not touching.

I'll leave you with a favorite photo. She's entirely too skinny for my tastes, but it's a great photo with the many implications. It has stopped me every time I've come across it on Alexa's tumblr. It resonates as SEXY to me. Good night.

Ideal Goodbye

Today, is the last day, that I am using words.
I have decided to stop communications with the man I pine for and have eternally in the back of my mind. This man is never far from my thoughts, especially sexually. We were lovers briefly, what feels like a lifetime ago, but it was an awakening for me that I hadn't anticipated. It was a fantastic, scary, cautious, surprising, fleeting time for both of us, and we've expressed our love for each other since. We've been friends for most of my adult life. Longer than I've known my (soon to be ex-) husband. I rarely go a whole day without thoughts of him at some point or another; "what would he think of these shoes, he would LOVE this band, ooo, he'd like this picture or web site." A good number of posts on Night Moves are about him.

We've been on again, off again friends as our marriages have allowed for the last 15 years. Words are useless (especially sentences) to describe how engrained in me this man is. It will be one of, if not THE most difficult decision I've made to stop talking to him. But, he's always chosen to stay where he is and I have accepted that. How can I explain how I feel? It's impossible. I have decided in order to be the best ME I can be, I can't continue to wish about IF and WHEN we might be together.

Music has always played a huge roll for us and Madonna was there when we got together, so I felt this song especially fitting for my good bye. I leave with one of the exchanges we've shared over the years on a blog we kept for each other:

Ideal situation, take notes (if you didn’t already):

1. Breathing/biting on my back sweet spot

2. Grabbing my tit

3. Rubbing my clit

4. Getting fucked from behind (even better in the ass)

Yum.

(his response)
It has been noted. And often fantasized about. Much like it is right now…Mmmm.

Daffodils and Daisies my love

A pictoral post

Montserrat by Bajofondo Tango Club. SO sexy.
I thought I'd express myself visually tonight. I am pouty and lonely and horny. Let this take you where it will...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alone, lonely

I am feeling alone, and lonely tonight. I have been checking my secret stash to no avail. There have been no presents left for me. It's disapointing to get all worked up over it (meanwhile in the back of my mind saying, there's nothing, he didn't say ANYTHING), then, nothing. The restrictions on the communication drive me BATTY. I really enjoy the back and forth banter, the playfulness, the teasing. But that's not an option right now, and it makes me so, so sad.

I am at my horny point of the month, so needless to say it's a little more disapointing than usual. And I am a little more wet than usual (though honestly it's hard to top the constant wetness that is "me") and longing for some kissing more than usual. Sigh. I am imagining one short month away at this point. It's a self imposed restriction. I could likely create an online profile now and start dating. But, I don't feel like I should. I feel like I should wait until I am officially divorced. I need the papers. I need permission. I need to take my ring off the day of the court date. Which btw, has to wait to be scheduled until we've both taken our parenting class (next week).
I am looking forward to my San Carlos trip over Memorial Day weekend. We looked at places to rent tonight. Hopefully we'll find a great steal and have a lovely time. I could use some beach time.

Til then, I'll keep looking, and hoping, and waiting and knowing that I care.

*sigh*

Mmmmmmm, Yessss

Appropriate song of the day I think I have been given this album, but I don't recall hearing this song before. A travesty I know : ).

So I had some time alone in the house tonight. That lead to tidying up and lotioning. The next time you stop by Bath and Body Works take a wiff of this.
It's my new favorite treat. I love it.
The bottle reads:

Put Love in the Air
Black Currant Absolute inspires heightened sensuality.
Vanilla Absolute soothes and calms to instill feelings of comfort.

Whatever it has, I like it. And when I get down showering with it, lotioning with it, and spraying it on, I smell yummy all over.

This is my favorite place to put it so I can smell it all day.

You don't need words--just one kiss, then another.

A-MAY-ZING Porn

Library Vixen is another of those fantastic writers that I enjoy so much. She's able to take you to the moment with her phrasing and word choice (girl gloss, thick beam). I love her! She mentioned a video the other day that was worth 3 orgasms for me while I watched it, so I thought I'd share it too. It's long, but so worth it. I am sure I'll be looking for more videos with her.
Do you have a favorite?

Who am I to disagree?

I think this is the best song to represent ME. I really love it. I never get tired of it and every time it's on I develop the sly smile. I have always thought it was incredibly sexy, the thought that "...some of them want to abuse you, some them want to be abused..." I was 9 when this came out and it was my first hint that things aren't always "vanilla." There ARE people into the thought of pain being pleasure. No wonder I always smile when I hear it. A perfect example of this mentality is Alexa's latest post. Check it out. HAWT! I LOVE anal, it's right up there with being munched. Good stuff.

I had a great night with the kids tonight. It didn't all go as planned, but we made time to watch the beautiful sunset and I explained how the earth revolves on it's axis (Mom what's an axis?) and how it rotates around the sun which creates the sky changing from day to night. Then K decided he didn't want to do his homework. Well, what do you say to a 6 year old when he says that? Ok, you'll have to do it tomorrow. Then we got ready for bed, and read a book, which evolved into K reading the book, which was WAY cool! He can (mostly) read! It was awesome. So, I just enjoyed the moment, no yelling, no arguing, no fussing, just fun. It was great. Now they are up there, quiet, staying in their beds, hopefully asleep. You can't ask for much more than that.
Big smiles.

This song is also a favorite of mine. You don't hear it nearly enough any more, too bad.
One more Lost down, 5 or 6 to go.
My new night shirt, yes it's a little chilly. : )

Sleep tight.

For Posterity's Sake

So Amazon put up their new $5 list today and FINALLY,  I bought the bird and the bee's new album today. SUUUUPPPERRRRRR!!!!!! (said like Oprah) If you don't have it already I highly recommend it. I think there was only a couple songs I didn't know, but who the hell cares, it's tbatb and you can't go wrong with them ever. If you insist on knowing my bliss, this is my favorite (of course). It's the perfect marriage of tbatb and Hall and Oats. Sara Smile gave me goose bumps, it's SO good. It would be so great to see them live.

Newly updated stats - obviously we're not being meticulous about location, and roomie asked, "Why are we doing this again?" She's gaining, I am not, so, for posterity's sake:
R                             Me
12.5          neck        13
34             boobs      36.5
33             waist        34
37             hip           38.5
20.75        thigh         22
12             arm          11.5
14.75        calf           15

And (drum roll please) I weighed 147 today. My whole life I have been about 175. My goal weight when I started running 2 years ago was 155. So that's pretty momentus for me. Big goofy smile

I watched another episode of Lost and I want to get another one in tonight, so I am going to call it quits. I'll leave you with a view of the new nighty I am wearing.

Your Love, your love

I have to admit I like this song. She's a HORRIBLE singer, but the tune manages to plant itself in my brain and won't get out, (wait, that's a place a cat can go) won't leave. It's ridiculous.

So roomie went out with a guy tonight so I ran by myself. 6 miles to the closest casino, then worked out. How else am I going to get to one of the bodies below? This is a collection of photos that inspire me that I made my desktop.

Yum and a bunch more of yum. Good inspiration for the up coming trip we're planning to San Carlos over Memorial Day weekend. Whohoo!!

I filed for the default today. Now I can call tomorrow and actually get my court date. Lookin' at June 8th to be divorced. How's that work for ya'll? Everyone free? I was reading the Ethical Slut V2 at lunch today and while I was waiting for my turn. I've changed my quote under Night Moves to more accurately reflect the mood.

So I LOVE reading Dooce and you should check out her post from today. Hi Lair E Us. I love her humor. She made working out funny. I aspire to that. She's my lunch time guilty pleasure along with MLIA. Some of them are totally made up, but you can skip past to the ones that make you laugh.

I was supposed to meet a coworker for coffee today (casual, no biggie) and I totally got the skeeves about it so I bailed. It was ODD. He's married, he knows I am married (and getting divorced), he's made comments about how attractive he thinks I am but the feeling is not reciprocal nor have I ever indicated it was. In fact he reminds me SO much of C, but times 10. And I have told him that, and he keeps coming back for more. So I need to keep it to IMing and I will likely have to tame that down. I have to admit I like the attention though. Bad me.

Also, I finally was able to apologize to B for a comment I made over a year ago. We haven't spoken since then, at his request. I tried reconnecting with him recently, no response. He actually needed something from me today that was work related so he ASKED SOMEONE ELSE TO ASK ME FOR IT. It was ridiculous. So I sent him a note saying that I wished he had just asked me himself and that I thought it was sad our former friendship had dissolved to this. I said I wish you the best in your future. Then I felt like I hadn't said enough, so I sent one more email saying, "I sincerely apologize for anything I might have said that offended you, that was never the intent." What else are you supposed to do when you tell a guy you're not interested in him sexually but you enjoy his friendship? Sheesh, I lost a good friend over that (or apparently not). As J said, "B is an idiot." But, I apologized today, and now I am going to move away with a clear conscious.

So, I am back onto Lost. I checked into ABC last night and realized that ALL the episodes are posted, YAY so I was able to go back as far as I had missed. So, I am going to check out one more tonight before I call it quits. Enjoy Ke$ha. I am on listen #10 or so at this point. Lol (rolling eyes).

Did I mention...

I miss you?

I do.

I wish at 3:00 am instead of being exhausted you were waking me up with slow lingering kisses all over my body. Running your hands on my silky, soft skin, tracing a line down my side. Rubbing your cool body against my warm, sleepy body. Finding that spot on my back and breathing me awake. Pushing your fingers between my legs. I wish you were waking me up to make slow, passionate love to me. Or maybe just a quick fuck. But either way,

I miss you.